New Skin

It was one of the last remnants of a previous life. It just didn’t “fit” anymore. I’ve found that I am more contemporary than rustic; aesthetics beyond comfort. This old couch and chair and ottoman were physical reminders of a good, but misplaced life.

I took pics and dropped them on Craig’s List. Within an hour people from all over were calling saying the set was “perfect,” or “just what we are looking for.” Two hours after posting and agreeing to price sight unseen, this unassuming, friendly guy drove up with trailer in tow.

He asked if I minded hearing his story about the furniture. “Of course not,” I said. Jim went on to tell me that he is a man of faith. Recently separated and moved into a place near a pond where he could fish and enjoy the woods.

“I decided I wanted to find a brown leather sofa and chair…it matches my personality.” He went on to tell me that he had had no luck in his search and was getting a little frustrated since he had a new place and hardly any furniture.  He had narrowed his search to a dozen or so possibilities and wasn’t thrilled about any of them.

“I shut down my computer and prayed about getting furniture. Really, I prayed for furniture. I booted up and there was your post, FIVE MINUTES LATER,” he exclaimed. We exchanged stories of our lives. He offered some cash and we loaded the set onto his trailer. We shook hands and said something about maybe fishing one day. I felt like a weight (literally and figuratively) was lifted. Some element of psychological capacity opening even more. A little sad as a vestige of many good days was moving to a new home. Glad to have more of “me” filling the spaces left.

The next day Jim texted: “It is exactly what I wanted. It’s me!”

Funny how our things come and go. Some things end up in the trash or in a garage sale or with Goodwill or on a list. Some things are moved as a part of letting go. Here, those same things became a part of starting over for another. A proverbial Circle of Life, or leather, if you will.

This Place of Honor

I stood on a stage in room filled with hope. A massive ballroom in Chicago filled with caregivers of all kinds from our country and others. They felt I had something to say…a perspective on healthcare delivery and the patient’s experience. Privileged to follow a life-long mentor and patient advocate, Don Berwick, M.D. I shared the story of this wonderful health system of ours and our own unique recipe for health reform…or health “transform.”

I spoke for an hour and 45 minutes to a group of idealistic, innovative, persuasive, patient-focused, extremely committed doctors, nurses, administrators, and policy-makers. My message was one of possibility and promise. One spawned from the voice of those who experience episodic or chronic disease and illness. A health system’s response to those whose days and nights are filled with uncertainty, anger, confusion, fear, and hope when their body fails them. Our country and the system of care is not aligned. So, we go our own way. We created a vision and a multi-year approach to changing EVERYTHING. We don’t have it right yet. We have a theory. I shared it. There was applause — one I didn’t deserve, but one that our system would gratefully appreciate. An acknowledgment of our courageous dive into doing what is right for those we serve…our patients and their loved ones.

I served as a voice box for a system that creates its own path. I am one architect in a company of many designers and artists in this canvas compassionate care.

To my Canadian and South American friends…thank you for your courage and your vision and your intolerance of anything less than a personal focus on doing better. To my USA colleagues…thanks for your wild commitment to mission. Thank you for tolerating and then validating my fanaticism for the patient’s experience. Your overwhelming response has humbled me and, most importantly, has reminded me of why I do what I do. I began with a story of my father, my daughter, and my son. They are my inspiration. You allowed me to share my heart and then share my perspective…flaws and all. I shared the vision of the exec team … Carl, Steve, Sallye, Jacque, John, Herb, and Fred and their tireless commitment to those we serve and those who do the serving. I shared our aim and our method. It resonated.

I sit here tonight, reflecting on our time together, the conversations with you all and the ideas for how we might treat our patients differently. I reflect on the emotions and the pragmatics of what is possible. We can do this! Thank you for asking me to represent OUR voice in the ‘greatest work on the planet’.

Honored.

Sean Keyser
Experience Geek

Lost In Space: The Risk and Return of facebook Dialogue in the Political Season

Ya ready? This one might require a comfortable chair and a few minutes 🙂

I’ve seen a number of posts lately calling for a ban on political opinion on facebook. Why? This medium is a source of connection. A virtual Washington Mall or Tahrir Square. People speak up for lots of reasons. There are days when i want to share with pals how my day was, how the dog is doing, how the workout went, how I love my kids, and what songs I dig. There are other days when expressing pain or joy with the hundreds out there gives me a sense of connection and support. So why should I mute when I have an opinion about the direction of our country and, MORE IMPORTANTLY, the direction of our planet? Does it detract from the idea that this real estate is designed only for the small talk and superficial elements of this life? I don’t buy it. It’s one thing to opine and another to use this space for mean-spirited and harmful expression. I hope I never cave in to the latter. Should I, I know you will all hold me accountable.

I have learned and grown so much through reading the views of the facebook community. I have been inspired and disgusted. I’ve been put in my place and I have found new places. I have seen the character of so many revealed through their narrative. I have been a part of the joy and the risk of dialogue.

I am by no means a wise man. But I think. I believe. I advocate based on my beliefs and values. I respect others who do the same…most of the time. As cliche as it sounds, respect IS earned. I learned over a decade ago that expressing my opinion, whether as an advocate of healthcare as a right and not a privilege, or as an advocate of peace over conquest, or as a seeker of truth to validate or refute what I had experienced before, or as a student of life in general, that my views would not always be popular or comfortable. I can’t and won’t apologize for following my heart AND my head when questions plague me. I have found a peace in my journey. My faith validated. My love of others who share what I believe and those who don’t has grown stronger and richer. I care more deeply than ever. And with that depth of caring comes great joy and even greater pain. Greater because digging reveals layers with such a powerful voice. Those voices create tension. This world is not adequately represented by talking heads on cable news or behind pulpits on Sunday morning or by politicians in one little slice of a world that isn’t just like us and SHOULDN’T be.

Tonight I strolled through the evening posts and found, as expected, a number of rants put out there with such carelessness and spin that they bordered on opinion- malpractice. I laughed to avoid crying or throwing my laptop over the deck of my town home – as if it would somehow silence the ignorance. But then it hit me. It isn’t so much the gross injustices and fabricated banners and “facts” spewed by the one or two extremists; it is the number of “likes” that seem to follow so automatically without appearing to have much intellectual or emotional challenge.

Tonight I saw one that took the proverbial cake.

———————

The message read: “God is Going With Me When I Vote In November” The poster’s own comment was, “And if EVERYONE that claims to know the Only True God said this then the election would not even be close. And like it or NOT, that’s a FACT.”

———————

I am by no means in a majority with my current “friends” list when it comes to ideology or philosophy in this life. I’m okay with that. I don’t think I have it all figured out. But I do know when to throw the bullshit flag. While we should be talking about economic policy, foreign policy, education, healthcare, and human rights (to name a few), the elephant in the room (how ironic) is the religion of the candidates. In one case it does matter because of the compost of lies, and in another case it shouldn’t matter because they are the candidate’s own beliefs…just not a campaign topic. Good for him.

For those who try to use their faith as a campaign banner…and also suggesting that their faith is THE faith, I see incredible misrepresentations and outright omissions because it might just create a crack in their theo-political rhetoric. On one hand I am seeing the ignorance of Obama’s faith as an opportunity to paint him as a “non-believer” for political convenience. In another case, ignorance of Governor Romney’s beliefs, or should I say just keeping it quiet because it might stir up some controversy. It shouldn’t, but it might.

“Fact” is…these are good men. Men of faith. Men who believe that a being much bigger than them has a plan that can’t be vetoed or filibustered or pork-barrelled. I doubt either of them would have the nerve to suggest that God is on their side.

So, with all deserved criticism and certain unleashing of the righteous indignation I am sure to hear, I am re-posting my reply to that original post. I must. Simply don’t read if it creates an uncomfortable stir. I think there is a place for this on these pages.

Peace.

MY ORIGINAL REPLY TO “GOD GOING WITH ME…”

Unfortunately for you and all of the rest of the sheep headed for the Right Cliffs of Hyperbole, this is NOT a fact. God isn’t Republican or Democrat or Libertarian or Independent or Socialist or a Capitalist or any other invention of people who can’t stand not having a label to satisfy their own need to associate with common agendas. If it weren’t for the Republican candidate being “right” minded, most Christians would be calling this Mormon a cult-follower (also a total injustice, as the Church of Latter Day Saints has more faith and compassion than most other denominations put together). I’ve heard it a hundred times from preachers in my home town. Try reading our current President’s book about his faith. His book, not one about him. I have heard from a number of Christian Democrats (many from the Gulf Coast) who are disgusted to find that the right thinks they somehow have a closer tie to Jesus. How sad…and how entirely fabricated. Heaven forbid (pun intended) that you acknowledge that most Protestant (whatever the hell that means) pulpit rhetoric would argue that Joseph Smith is a “false prophet.” I heard it over and over as a young member of a misguided congregation. Mitt believes that he (Joseph, that is) was instructed by God, and is, in fact, a prophet. Where is that in your mantra, Bill? Try and window dress it all you like, but God is with truth. Your candidate’s beliefs (which I respect immensely) don’t hold up to most Christian “party line.” They are just too comfortable making Obama out as a Muslim (a silly and preposterous lie of convenience) or an atheist (just as much a lie). The only thing Righteousness and the Right have in common is a root word, whose definitions should never be confused. 

9 Million Degrees of Separation…8 degrees of Promise

Sunday morning.

There is a touch of fall in the morning. Not an enthusiastic arrival, but a little more subtle. Noticeable, like thinking you hear a familiar voice and turning to see.  The morning breeze that flows through the patio at my favorite bistro this early morning is just cool enough to look up at the clouds and ask them when they might break long enough for the sun to offer her warm balance.

A few degrees are significant.

My old dog and best friend, Tybee, is in his twilight time. He has a host of things that ail him. His back legs fail daily and his dog version of COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) makes it a bit more of a chore to get a good breath. Cataracts lead to a navigation flaw now and then. But he is full of life. He has the spirit of puppy days.

As the sun rose this morning we stepped outside for our morning walk. They take longer than they used to. For most of his sweet life I was literally pulled the entire walk. Today it was a slow and quiet stroll. He stops to rest his legs and occasionally just lies down and lets me know he needs a moment. But this morning, as we stepped out onto the porch and prepared to negotiate the three brick steps to the sidewalk and the waiting common area, his snout tilted upward and he took a deep breath. He had a look of pleasant surprise. He sort of slid down the steps and almost bounced to the walkway. For the first time in months he trotted down the way, stopping to investigate now and then, trotting again. We crossed the avenue to the grassy hill. He collapsed (intentionally) and rolled and rolled and rolled on the dew dropped lawn. He smiled big (yes, dogs smile!). He rose and he attempted a bit of a jog. Then, his legs and lungs reminded him not to push it too much and he slowed to a happy lope.

A few degrees were the variable in play here today.

I thought of the last two weeks. A political smorgasbord. I watched and read and listened to the candidates and their cronies and the pundits and the critics and the passersby. I realize it was a platform fair of sorts. The convention always is. That’s okay with me.

What struck me was the sheer venom. Much more from one side. I don’t expect Kubaya and a group hug. The fact check sites were having a field day cutting through the spin of the angry right and the exaggerated claims of the idealist left. All in all, I heard what I expected to hear. As an American without a party that truly represents my complete set of values and and aspirations, I listened for solutions and vision. Getting there was not easy. The platform noise gets in the way of progress. I have my strong opinions on who can most capably lead this nation at this time. That is for another post. I have stronger opinions at the abysmal failure of Congress – the true barriers to any progress of any kind.

What gets me the most is chasm that separates our proxy members. Is it not possible to simply acknowledge that no party will adequately represent the people in their beautiful and rich diversity? Knowing that we vary in color, values, faith (or lack of it), cultural traditions, preferences and all manner of difference, it seems to me that some sense of community and respect might just be in order. God help us if one of these pissed of tea baggers talked about how we can support those with burdens without being labeled a socialist. I have a dream (humbly borrowing this section of the greatest speech ever delivered) of the hard left understanding that prosperity isn’t the enemy. Our problems are complicated and require something more that a gun, a poster, a tax, a reduction of tax, a policy, or a Super PAC.

The greatest tool and most underemployed tool we have is dialogue. Not talking points or platform rhetoric. A conversation. A conversation, lots of conversations about the challenges and the common solutions that are begging to be considered. They are out there.

Washington needs a touch of Fall to cool the emotions that don’t add value. It needs a breeze to fuel those that do.

A few degrees.

Off to pursue happiness. Another walk with the pup. He is surely saying, “God bless America…and Fall.”

A Glass Half Nexty

“One of the inescapable encumbrances of leading an interesting life is that there have to be moments when you almost lose it.”

Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks at Fifty

My friend, and early agent (he didn’t know it then) Robert Wright, posted a photograph recently of me playing at his restaurant a LONG time ago. He stood beside me for the photo, displaying his patented smile and offering his good cheer. I was swept immediately back to those easy days. I could feel the neck of the blond Alvarez (that would be my guitar…my first…won in a raffle at Leitz Music Company). It would change everything. I figured, “I should learn to play this thing,” and a year later I was crooning at this amazing little bistro downtown. I remember how the treble knob on my amp would always stick a little. I remembered my white Peavey mic that was so cool. I remember the rickety stool. The cheap music stand that held my binder of lyrics that I never really used. I just made up the lines I would forget. Most never noticed or they were at least nice enough not to give a damn. Robert and his crew would make their way around serving wine and cheese and great sandwiches and salads. I would play and sing. The playlist wasn’t extensive, but it was what I loved. Luckily, a few others did too. Fogelberg, Loggins & Messina, Croce, Hall & Oates, Willie Nelson, Dave Loggins, Billy Joel, an original or two or three, and a few others based on requests.

Billy Joel captured the essence of those nights. As “…the regular crowd shuffled in” I smiled and planned for their favorites. Friends, family, and the occasional tourist. There were a few of us who played regularly. Tom Collins, Phillip Leitz, me, and others. I was lucky enough to play with guys who were really great. The incomparable Tom Lane – who remains a gifted and inspiring artist. To this day he shares that gift with the world, literally, and remains a mate of the soul.  Tony Namynanik, who introduced me to Loggins and Messina and pure friendship and then changed my life in a thousand ways for the better. I would laugh harder in one night hanging out with Tony than in years and months since. Greg Todd, the most easy going guy I ever met and who could hit harmonies higher than Vince Gill on his best day. Sharon Stanley (Goldenberg) who could sing anything…and did. I would be so busy watching her that I forgot entire chords and lyrics and had to stop playing. Then I would act like something was wrong with the P.A. or something. One time she sang Blue Bayou and I slipped off of my stool in a trance. She laughed and kept on singing. I recovered from the slip, but never from the moment.

There would be a point every night when I would hit a particular chord and its progression that was unmistakable. C major with a walk down to an A minor then to an F major and back again. Robert would peek out from the kitchen and grin in anticipation. Back to Billy Joel … “It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, and the manager gives me a smile…” Robert would always stop what he was doing and step out with a smile as big as Texas. It became tradition. One I hold dear to this day, decades later.

The friends, dare I say groupies (in my own damned mind) made my life full. They ordered sweet tea or coffee or a German beer or a great glass of wine. They and and listened and would sing along. Some under their breath and others in loud chorus. Fans. Mom was the greatest fan – she remains so to this day. Many of those loyalists are back in my life today on the pages of facebook (thank you, Mr. Zuckerburg) or through email or Skype. And, every once in a while, we find each other at a beach bar along the salty shores of the Riviera. We reminisce, but our nostalgia doesn’t consume us. We look to the possibilities. The songs yet to be sung and those revisited with our own twists and chords and harmonies. Other gypsies have joined me in penning or thoughts for those who might walk the trails later. I’m so grateful for you all. 

The photograph and the overwhelming memories took me to a place of context. Those were, as I said at the beginning, “easy days.” My life was about singing and playing and selling tennis rackets and shoes and CHAMPS Sporting Goods and deciding what part of the beach to hit on the weekend. College was a distraction, not a means to an end. It was all about relationships. Somewhere it all turned. Back again now.

So, here I am today. A pirate looked at fifty. Ironically, I’ve returned to the days of sun and song and being with good humans (and one perfect dog). In the midst of attempting to influence healthcare strategy and policy and operations of a wonderful organization, I spend late nights playing and writing and building relationships. I return to the old songs and they fill my soul. I play new ones from the amazing artists of this generation and am equally filled. I write about the journey and share it with those who like to come along the ride and add their own entries.

I want easy again. It’s time. Play. Sing. Laugh. Drink good drink. Be present…really present. Don’t take anyone or any moment for granted. Live.

Thanks Robert, for taking me back and reminding me that those days can be these days.

P.S. There is talk of a reunion with some of the original players. You in, kids?

When Love Takes You In

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote this beautiful song about adoption. Hoping he doesn’t mind a little license with it, I think it works for the precious animals hoping for a home as well.

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

Buddy, my mom’s dog of many years died a couple of years ago. Since then, we knew her life would be so much more complete when a new dog would find his or her home with her. Things needed to be put in place. Work had to be done. The time was right. Mom and Denise and Jenny and Gabi and Chelsea went to the Pound in search of the perfect pet. I have found that they will find us!

For the last sixteen years, Tybee has been my friend and my muse. A stand-up comedian. The best listener ever. Aerobic trainer before arthritis got the best of him…now he just cheers me on. He has inspired stories and has come to completely dig Americana and alternative rock. Life is so much more complete because of this old soul.

So the search began. This sweet mutt found her. He must have known she would be his new roommate, because he played with everyone but stayed almost exclusively by her side. I don’t care what they say; DOG’S SMILE. They love. They emote. They are multilingual. They get that the simple life is the best life. It is their mission to remind us of just that.

His name (already given): “Buddy” How cool is that?

Welcome home, Buddy. You belong here. Do your thing and add life to life.

Sittin’ On The Black of the Bay (published May 30, 2010)

An earthquake shakes countries and we respond en masse. Tsunamis come ashore and are followed by waves of dollars and volunteers and government aide. Our planet’s capacity to reach out is sometimes overwhelming. At other times it is strikingly absent.

I have spent the last few days on the water with sea life and river life and people whose lives move with the tides. We slowed the boat on our way to Daufuskie Island to let a pod of Bottlenose dolphin play. They jumped and danced and wrestled and glided all at the same time. They put on quite a show before smiling and moving down river. The pelicans moved stealthily in for the evening catch under a rising full moon. They perched on the buoys and the abandoned pilings and watched the boats and birds and waited the next course. The rhythm of the coastal breezes moved the marsh grass in wave after graceful wave.

I tried to imagine a dark death, like a plague, moving slowly in to suffocate all of this precious life. I visualized our  Pelican and Seagull friends diving and unable to return to flight from the thick coating on their wings. I saw the deep greens and browns of the marshland turning black and dying and taking with it the lives of the birds and the fish who live and thrive there.  I saw the banks of the river at low tide coated in this mess. The crab no longer able to run and burrow along the mud and the rocks.

Months ago the headlines were full of the response of humanity to other disasters. Where is that same humanity when the disaster is one of corporate doing? Does this make it any less a candidate for attention and response from those beyond the boardroom? Did other oil companies rush in with their best minds and resources? Where has been the humanitarian response from corporate and government organizations alike? Is it because many of the victims are not…human? Reality is that the livelihood of so many is threatened by this catastrophe. What is getting much less attention is that LIFE is at stake here too. An entire ecosystem is threatened and dying.

So, I grudgingly turn on the news. Instead of finding headlines filled with national and international response, I see a BP executive spending most of his air time answering to prosecutors from every possible group, agency, district, and agenda. The podium has no lineup of those who have come to a rescue. He stands alone. This isn’t about feeling sorry for a corporate exec. It is absolute sadness over the lack of collective good to save lives. To save livelihoods. To fix a terrible and accidental wrong that not only claimed eleven brave men, but is claiming more life with each creeping inch.

I’ve never boarded a Greenpeace boat. I don’t have a Save The Spotted Owl bumper sticker on my Jeep. I’ve never stood defiantly between a bulldozer and a Redwood. At one point I think I was even critical of these types as if they were all lunatics. But in these middle years I find myself drawn away from concrete and into the woods; from the airports and to the river; from the office and to the forest. So, here I was at dawn this morning, rowing my kayak down Richardson Creek along the marsh and feeling an even stronger conviction to preserve and protect this glorious life around me.

I am a lover of life. All kinds. Tonight I become what I once judged. I don’t want my legacy for the planet to be left to my reusable Harris Teeter shopping bag or a weekly recycling run. That is pissing in the proverbial wind. I am going for “cause” level. Too much at stake.

Sean

P.S. Save The Spotted Owl

Winter of our discontent – or our finest moment? (published Jan 30, 2010)

Steinbeck’s’ character, Ethan Allen Hawley, was a good man gone wrong. The pressure to become something more caused him to compromise his values and his very nature. Later, he would rationalize as if somehow he actually had helped those he harmed. Too close.

Now is not the first time a people have struggled in this Land of the Free. These days don’t offer a lot of hope for a lot of folk. You have to seek it, invent it, borrow it, build it. I personally believe that our leaders – left, right, middle, independent – go into their work to help build things, not tear them down. Do they get sucked into the bureaucratic machine that is perpetually running in D.C.? Sure they can. But I am not ready to write them all off. The mood of the country, and  that of most within my social circles, is dark, cynical, critical, and mean-spirited at times. I choose to believe in people. I choose to believe that our leaders feel it a privilege to work on the tough problems on behalf of me and of those who can’t speak so easily for themselves (not that I speak so easily myself).

I listened to our President last week. Just a speech? Nah. Vision. Vision changes. It should. Was “Yes, we can” just campaign rhetoric? I don’t think so. I choose to follow a belief in the human spirit, regardless of Red or Blue or Orange (what is the color for Independents anyway?).

Ethan Allen Hawley sold out under pressure. He came to understand what he did and had to live with it. He returned to his conscience and his heart. It may feel like a Winter of Discontent, but I choose to look for the moon on the water and the beauty and the possibilities just around the bend.

Back to the Future…This Wall…This Damned Wall (published Jan 23, 2010)

The comment was, “It’s time to get our country back.” Just another angry line from a cynical citizen whose version of the American Promise is threatened by the actions or the pending legislation or the questions being asked by anyone who doesn’t represent the good old days. The latest vengeful rhetoric was spawned by a Massachusetts election. It was quite the victory for a nervous lot. The guy seems like a capable thinker. He might have single-handedly slowed a decision that might require cooler heads and more thinking. That might just be a good thing.

My worry has more to do with the place this is emotion is coming from. The behavior of so many seemed less like a people who felt like a sense of balance was underway, but more like vultures waiting for the last breath of an injured animal. Then the words appeared across the social and mainstream media: “…time to get our country BACK.”

Back to what? Back to when? With the years and the moves and the tragedies I have become much less aligned to a position or a party and more to a set of values and what I think was the intent of a group of men and women who hoped for a better life. Not unlike anyone around today. Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness. Pretty good things, eh? “Back” to a time when people used emergency rooms for their primary healthcare because they lost their plan with their job? Back to when a nation’s financial health was measured by Dow Jones and dismisses a national debt? Back to when Bernie Madoff got more air time than boys and girls in uniform dying courageously, risking more than any stockholder could dream? Back to a time when we could hide our ignorance and judgement as long as we gathered around like-minded folks who made us feel legitimate in our prejudice?  Back to a time when we wrote off the perils of a globe in jeopardy because it might mean less horsepower or less square footage to go along with or suburban egos?

Cynical? No way! Idealist? Absolutely! Just amazed at the very idea that a pack ideologues can dismiss that a lot of folks don’t want to go “back.” What if we talked about the FUTURE? What if we acknowledged that the problems we have to solve for are not going to be solved by party lines or worn out colors and position papers and platforms. The planet and the people on it are evolving. Our thinking and our compassion and our intelligence needs to go with it. My beliefs haven’t changed as much as my appreciation for the fact that they aren’t everyone else’s. That is a good thing. I have grown to love and appreciate diversity beyond a corporate program. I, for one, don’t want to go “back” again. I hope we find that our strength will come from common purpose. I wonder what Conan thinks about it all?

‘Till The End of September (published sept 24 2009)

The Sons of the Desert have a song that speaks to when a loss is felt the most.

I’m just fine ’til the end of September

Then I remember losing you October ’89

If I live in the past, there’s no future

I’m looking forward to leaving October behind

We didn’t have much of a relationship. I don’t remember any words of wisdom. We didn’t play ball or hang out. Although he did coach my team one year in what I now look back as an attempt to bond with me. Thanks, Dad. Still, he was around and I was able to watch and glean what I could. He had a soldier’s set of values. Respect for elders and our President. Manners. Duty to country. It is in the fall, when seasons change and slow a bit that I remember him the most.

To my friends who loved and lost, I wish you peace. To my kids – I hope my time here leaves you better. You have made my life rich and full of blessing. Dad loves what has become of you. He sees what he hoped he would be through you.

He is with his comrades in Fort Barancus. They hang out and tell war time tales and bask in the glory of the fight. I hold on to the belief that his soul remains. The possibility that he watches and enjoys the goodness and hurts for the times when life is hard. I think he is learning although he is no longer here and is passing it on to me in ways I don’t know and surely can’t understand.