“Paper or Moron…Oops, I Meant Plastic?”

In the timeless words of Ricky Bobby, “That just happened!”

I went to my neighborhood grocery store this afternoon for some fish, vegetables, fruit, wine, and beer (not in that order). I opened my trunk to fetch grocery bags. This guy and his wife walked nearby. He looked my way and said, “You’ve got a lotta stuff in that trunk, huh?” I laughed and said, “Yep, I’ve been moving over a few weeks and just used this for small storage.”

My groceries on my porch. Can we recycle politics?

As I gathered my Harris Teeter grocery bags  he turned and said, “You must be a Democrat.”

A reply raced from my brain, out of my mouth and through the space between us, “Actually I just give a shit.”

He looked a little offended and said, “I just don’t see how you save a planet with a bag.”

I walked alongside and continued, “I actually use plastic all of the time; I use it to clean up after my dog during our morning walks. See, they are good for something.”

It is a mystery to me that as a conservationist and bit of an environmentalist I am stereotyped as liberal. If that is the tag given me for those values, then I gladly wear it. Why should my desire to “conserve” resources of a planet be less a virtue than conservation of wealth (the primary conservative value of this era). Oh, I forgot, Global Warming is a myth. I’m beginning to understand the paradox.


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