We Always Planned to Get the Band Back Together

I was seventeen. I won a guitar in a raffle. I had no idea how to play.

Two of my friends were already in a band. I asked if I could watch them practice. I’d sit on the floor in front of Greg and Tony, studying their finger placement on the neck—between the frets. Later, alone in my room, I’d place my fingers in the same spots, eventually learning they were chords.

One day, Greg asked if I sang.
I said, “Nope.”

Tony and Greg overheard me singing along to Run River Run by Loggins and Messina. They looked at each other and smiled. Tony said, “You’re in the band.” And just like that, a short spin through local musical history began—along with a lyrical and melodic journey that continues for me to this day.

Greg could play anything. He loved harmony more than lead vocals. He was never on time for rehearsal—whether in my living room or in Tony’s garage—assuming he showed up at all. But he was so damn lovable that we could never stay mad for long.

When Greg walked into a room, it lit up. Tall, blonde, lean, tan—pure twenty-year-old energy. He was the right arm of our spiritual and logistical leader, Tony. We discovered our voices had real chemistry. We entered a local talent contest. We won.

After a summer of gigs and a couple more years of community college for me, life did what life does. Greg worked at a lumber store. Tony became a trucker. I headed to Texas to chase a career and then to finish undergrad. We drifted apart, as friends do. Visits became less frequent. Promises to fix that grew bigger. And the chances of getting the band back together grew smaller—but never disappeared.

Decades passed.

Greg and I stayed connected through social media and a handful of reunions at the mythical—now only an echo—No Name Lounge. Aside from some wrinkles and a newfound passion for hard-right politics, he hadn’t changed a bit. His hair was still long. His stories were even grander. New projects were always just around the corner, pitched with full Shark Tank enthusiasm. I knew they weren’t coming to fruition—but they were alive in his beautiful mind, and that was enough.

We debated politics. We reminisced about our short, sweet band life. We argued about the greatest decades in music (I don’t have one—I love them all, which drove him crazy). We laughed. We toasted. We hugged. We pledged—again—to drag Tony in from Tennessee and get the band back together. We also knew it probably wouldn’t happen. But as we age, those promises keep hope alive.

Greg passed away this week. Far too young.

My heart sank at the news. And yes—it’s cliché to say, “I just talked to him a couple of weeks ago,” as if that somehow makes the ending less possible.

I’ll remember how he could run like a gazelle and track down a fly ball in center field for our high school team (Go Dolphins). I’ll remember his high harmonies on every Eagles song. I’ll remember his stories about the big things happening “next week.” I’ll remember how he could build things—how he knew his way around lumber. Most of all, I’ll remember how he encouraged me to sing, to write, to play—and to savor every moment the three of us spent laughing our way through practice.

Grief is only love that’s got no place to go. ~ Stephen Wilson, Jr.

I love you, my friend.
You changed my life.
Rest in play.

The White House Hall of Shame and Center for the Ego and The Arts

Yes—it’s true. The plaques beneath the presidential portraits in the White House aren’t satire or parody. They are Trump’s own words—his impressions of the presidents who came before him. And in them, his deficiencies are laid bare. This is a man incapable of respect. Incapable of decency or decorum. Incapable of appreciating anyone who hasn’t directly served his ego or his interests.

What’s missing from those plaques are the inevitable closing lines—the part where he implies that he alone made up for every president in history, that he alone “saved” America. Good God. The lobotomy continues. I genuinely cannot wait for the next president—Republican, Democrat, or Independent—to walk into that hollowed space, rip that shit off the walls, and ship it first-class to Trump Tower.

Every president has known both triumph and failure. Each has governed through dark chapters and hopeful ones alike. And they are flawed, like me and everyone reading this post. What there wasn’t room for on the current POTUS’s bronze plaque were the seemingly endless indiscretions, the crimes, the cruelty, and the daily demonstrations of inhumanity. That accounting will have to wait for the history books—and the vast, almost infinite cloud storage it will take to document just how dark this era truly was.
—————-
Plaque quotes:

Joe Biden: His space (represented by a photo of an autopen instead of a portrait) has a plaque that reads, “Sleepy Joe Biden was, by far, the worst President in American History,” and falsely claims he took office as a result of a “corrupt election”.

Obama: His plaque describes him as “one of the most divisive political figures in American History” and refers to the Affordable Care Act as the “Unaffordable Care Act”.

George W. Bush: His description notes he “started wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, both of which should not have happened,” and mentions the global financial crisis that occurred near the end of his term.

Bill Clinton: His plaque criticizes his championing of NAFTA and mentions that his wife, Hillary Clinton, lost the 2016 election to Trump.

—————

But WAIT…(can you hear the late-night ad voice?)—there was today’s announcement. The Kennedy Center for the Arts has been renamed the Trump–Kennedy Center for the Arts. Of course his name comes first. It always must. Whether you consult AI, a psychology textbook, or a basic Wikipedia entry, type in the word narcissism and watch as it becomes flesh.

We planned to binge-watch Stranger Things final season this weekend. Instead, I’ll watch the news—it chronicles an absurd national experiment in ego, damage, and denial, with real bodies, real costs, no one yelling “Cut,” and no rewind. It’s where power is just performance, truth is expendable, and consequences arrive whether anyone believes in them or not.

I want so badly to have a moderate and kinder view. It’s where I belong. But I am heart-sick daily by the cruelty masquerading as “conservative values” and am completely mystified that smart and loving people accept it so easily. It just doesn’t stop. From calling reporters names, to abandoning healthcare (totally predictable), to name-calling of reporters asking totally appropriate questions, to attacking and killing without a measure of due process, to speaking ill of the dead following a family tragedy (right at the top of the sick and evil scale), to arbitraily banning people from countries based on their color and religion while boisterously asking for those from predominantly white countries to come here (hmmmm – finally the veil is coming off) to the fictional self-accolades over “progress” that couldn’t be more the opposite, and it goes on and on.

And this is just in the last few days.

So many that I know and love seem to be desensitized to it all. Or they actually buy it all. I want to understand its attraction. The chaos is just a matter of daily life. I want to feel better. I want to have hope. It’s a stretch right now. I’m clearly outnumbered. It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ll fight for what I believe is good and just. And this ain’t it.

Dark Days and the Supermoon – A Poem

Melancholy.

A “deep, lingering sadness… reflective sorrow — the kind that isn’t sharp or chaotic, but quiet, thoughtful, persistent.”
Yeah. That one. The slow-moving kind that finds you in the in-between places.
Rare for me.
And yet — predictable, this time of year.
But this year… this week… these few awkward hours — almost unbearable.

There’s irony everywhere I turn.
I’m tucked into this legendary mountain Inn — Asheville, dressed in its finest.
A holiday carnival of excess:
Lights draped on lights, piano keys dancing under chandeliers,
craft cocktails swirling with citrus and smoke,
people gliding across grand lobbies
in branded fleece and polite amnesia —
“So nice to see you,” though my name escapes them. As does theirs from me.

Tonight was meant to be the first of three nights with a Supermoon —
a celestial encore to Beaver Moon, to Harvest Moon —
a white-hot coin in the sky we won’t see again until 2042.
I thought, You should go see it. Don’t miss the magic. It might offer some needed cheer.
But the heavens shrugged. Cloud-covered.
A winter-gray veil of sleet and drizzle smudged its anticipated brilliance.
I slid my camera back into its bag.
Gloves on. Scarf tightened.
And when I stepped back through those heavy wooden doors,
all I wanted was a glass of WhistlePig — neat —
and the permission to be left alone with this dull ache.

Because in just a few days — the ground beneath my feet has shifted.
A widening chasm in my family I never saw coming.
A diagnosis confirming that the leg that’s been betraying me
is torn — ACL and meniscus — a reminder that bodies are wonderfully mortal.
And then the financial storms… arriving uninvited at year’s end,
knocking things off shelves I thought were secure. Entirely recoverable. Just lousy timing.

If not for the joy of the one I love…
and the work that still feels like redemption…
I wonder if depression might have quietly found a place to shelter inside my chest.

Tonight, it’s simply melancholy.
Not forever — just for now.
But when distance grows with people you love,
when the body politic feels absurd beyond repair,
when your own anatomy starts sending you “You’re getting older” memos —
it stacks up.
Heavy.

So instead of basking in the glow of beautiful things
and small-talk smiles…
I’m choosing solitude.
A quiet room.
Jazz humming low through a speaker.
And a slow sip — maybe two, maybe three —
of a 15-year WhistlePig Rye,
as I sit with the sadness
until it softens
and lets me breathe again.