Sean’s Blog: Pompous and Circumstance

I watched my recordings and news recaps of the Pope’s visit to New York City well into the morning hours . I finally dozed off, I had a dream. More of a nightmare really. Vivid though :). In my dream Pope Francis met with Donald Trump just after Trump said to John Boehner, “You’re fired.”

Trump:
“Yo. Give me a high-five. I mean the highest five. Get it?”

Pope Francis: (obliged and then turning to Vatican Security detail).
“Please get me a handi wipe.”

Security Detail (offering handi-wipe to the Pope):
“Here you are, your Holiness.”

Trump:
“Thank you. Oh, sorry, I thought you talking to me?”

“Frank, may I call you Frank? I want to welcome you to my City.”

Pope Francis:
“It is a lovely city. The Statue of Liberty is a beautiful reminder of an open heart to needy people around the world.”

Trump:
“Yeah, I closed Ellis Island years ago. You know what happens to the neighborhood when the immigrants come in. It’s one thing to have to take them, but hell—oops, excuse me—it’s another to have a whole island that actually invites them.

Trump:
“Did you enjoy offering mass at Trump Tower last night?”

Pope Francis:
“I’m sorry, I offered mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.”

Trump:
“Of course (winking) I guess it’s P.C. to call it that. I bought it years ago. Got a great foreclosure deal. I wanted to do the right thing though and kept the look and the vibe. The condos above the Baptistery and alongside the sanctuary brought in over 3 million a pop. The Baptistery is a hot tub after visiting hours.”

Pope Francis:
“Oh, I wasn’t aware. Well, thank you for opening it to people gathered for worship.”

Trump:
“Oh, that was just one of my staff meetings. But they were glad to see you there too. I added you to the agenda.”

Pope Francis:
“I particularly enjoyed speaking to world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly. Mr. Trump, can you just imagine what good we could do by moving the hearts and minds of leaders in one hundred and ninety three member states? We could make a difference in poverty, inequality, world peace, and so much more.”

Trump:
“Yeah, well, when I become King…I mean President…at this point it’s just a formality, I’m planning on legislation requiring each state leader speak english. I mean, we do host this thing and I just think it is kind of rude not to speak the King’s english—no pun intended—when on our soil, you know? Plus, the cost of all of those translators…

As a matter of fact, your own english isn’t all that great, your Popishness. No offense, but I would have expected more.

Pope Francis:
“I will try and do better.”

Trump:
“And, another thing, I want to apologize for the little felon that jumped the barrier along your parade. You know, had I been in charge my big wall along the border would have stopped her and her parents from stepping foot here to begin with. Then, I would have had walls along all the streets high enough to prevent these breaches during visits from my guests.”

Pope Francis:
“Do you mean little Sophia, the precious one who ran to see me with gifts and a hug and a message of love?” I asked to have her come to me.”

Trump:
“Oh, I thought she was trying to smuggle something through your Papamobile, or whatever it’s called. In any case, that little rug rat should have been holding immigration papers, not a letter. What has happened to kids these days?”

Pope Francis:
“This has been an interesting visit, Mr. Trump. Thank you for the latte and the signed picture of you.”

Trump:
“Oh, of course. And next time you’re in town let’s put our heads together for a book. We could sell millions. I’m thinking we could call it The Art of the Heal. Clever, eh?”

Pope Francis:
“Peace to you. Christ our Lord loves you and so do I.”

Trump:
“Of course you both do. Everybody loves me.”


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